Unfamiliar Stars


My self-esteem is at an all-time high level of low

To return

is to strangle comfortably

To move forward

is to free fall over a cliff

To stand still

is to get swallowed up

by self-loathing.

 

And there is no place to go

but out

and in

and down

A trail of unfamiliar stars

highlighting unrecognizable paths

in rough waves.

I, Romeo


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“I defy thee stars”

twinkling in the world so bright,

A showering of power and might,

Shimmering glow of sweet innocence,

Dismembered ember, distant progenitor of my destiny.

You protected my ancestors upon the sea,

Against fearful shadows and hateful memories.

Yet here I am, a product of your mystery

Alone, and seemingly without a guide,

Embarking on a journey without any at my side.

 

“I defy thee”

That eats away the known universe

Carrying ancient legends of heroic deeds

Of fearless, selfless men who dared to bleed,

That sends angel gods whispering to my ears

To escape the paradox of wanting to be free

Of wanting,

Of time in memorial,

like scattered flowers in rotting sun,

Still exuding a day of soft petaled love

Nested passion, fated kiss

On a cheek, on the lips,

in a garden,

Under a tree.

 

 

“I defy thee”

though your beauty reels me in

A siren’s sweet melody licking heart’s wound

Of sorrow simmering in torn silence

Waiting for your ancient fire, burning,

Wanting in beauty, drowning

Under a cold starlit heaven, weeping

In mass self-destruction, bleeding

Unheroic dreams, written at my own birth,

My house is crumbling,

A spinning light in a darkened universe

A failed perception of reality though I try

A burned path of old destruction though I cry

In the shadows of city lights

Old fears of broken social order

Are still fighting in the streets

like bodies falling to the ground

with rusted daggers to the heart

love is a paradox that is only tasted,

and sorrow a potion that “shall be endured”,

drunk with an eternal silence,

A lonely drop under the universe

Just a drop left

Just a drop left

For me.

 

Maunaloa Morning


#11

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It’s all about the journey,

Believing in miracles,

Dormant creative forces,

Internalizing vision,

Cell regeneration,

Pulsation,

Pushing to achieve,

Reaching to let go.

Death/life.

Life/death.

 

 

#12

 

This morning

I took a detour,

Wound through dew-laden

Plants and budding shrubs,

To watch the sun rise on the mountain,

And catch one of the many faces of Maunaloa,

Her meditation, her chant, her adoration to life,

Waking in her wake,

Feathers and flower buds

Waiting to open.

 

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still waters


mauna loa setting

be still my heart

as a mountain absorbed

in mist, in rain, in sun,

her beauty grounded

in her own knowing.

be still

as the spirit stilled the sea,

still my heart,

so I can simply be

here, present, believe

those tears that grace my face

are not mine,

or in reality,

selfishly,

about you or me,

with all the troubles in the world today,

these tears are

just a seeker’s trail,

her heartstrings journey

bound

through ancient time

til’ now,

her still waters,

living waters,

still waiting to be found.

Ho`oponopono


Punalu`u, cloud reflection in tidal pool

Punalu`u, cloud reflection in tidal pool

Taste the moss,

Steep the leaves,

Grate the bark,

Pound the essence with a stone,

In a wooden bowl made of tree, and sky, and earth.

We are the healers of our own souls,

Caretakers, travelers of our own worlds,

But have we found that all paths lead

To the one called truth,

That awakens before dawn

In the touch of another’s hand, in the corridors of eyes

Vibrant with life, and color, and movement

We are our own reflections of each other

In tidal pools, in water and stone texture,

Elements reaching together,

A collective consciousness,

Despite worlds,

And beyond conflicts to a calm place,

Open and still,

Stones absorbing heat and clatter,

Sacrificing,

And ready to be thrown back

To the sea,

The source from whence we all came.

 

 

© Karen K.L. Espaniola     June 11, 2013

 

 

A Woman In Flight


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I met a young woman in flight today,

Her long lashes wet with sorrow,

and eyes heavy with the world’s pain,

she bowed her head

to a parade of clouds dancing

‘long a rocky cliff-side,

below the sky,

wild and careless,

and “unaware” she said,

“unaware of me.”

 

Grey sleeves damp

and stretched in summer’s heat,

Brass ear rings shaped like moons

Shimmering in a pool of endless loneliness,

She asked, “Why me, God, why me?”

Her eyes seeking mine,

A stranger searching to be seen,

A sinking raindrop in an endless sea.

“Only you know,” I said,

“Only you know your truth,

So set it free.”

© Karen K.L. Espaniola, June 8, 2013

Note To Self


You are Not the only one left on earth
Though it seems like it,
After fifty years of ocean and land,
constant
journey seems relentless, and
Emptiness flows over.
People fade in and out,
Exhaling
In thought, in presence, in life, in death.

The sound of your heart beats
Under water, on a forest floor,
On mountaintops,
Spilling across the desert sky.
It is the universe inhaling.

And that falling star streaking
into the dark horizon, WAS for you,
it’s flash gasping from your throat,
Where shadows of desperate anticipation
clung to yesterday’s warmth.

You are here for a reason,
If not just to let go
And Breathe Beauty,
Share goodness,
Hope, long, dream, act, write, express,
Teach
For a better world.
Today is the day,
“Now is the time”
Never wait for tomorrow,
To speak
From the heart,
With the rhythm of the earth,
And the love of the universe
Beside you.

KKLE
May 3, 2013

 

(c) Karen K.L. Espaniola 2013, All Rights Reserved

Star Gazer


Those stars,
Seeking for your eyes to see,
Have been seen before
In this night sky
By thousands who have gone before,
Who have gazed
At beauty, lobes ripe with mystery
and amazing magnitude
juxtaposed to our own smallness.

KKLE May 1, 2013

Walking Before Morning


Looking up
Into that carpet of stars
How I want to absorb you
Swallow you til’ the darkness
Cools my pain, and the distant light
Ignites the healing of my soul. Let me be yours.
Let me cast my life before you, become clay to the creator
Bury me, fold me, envelope me, transform me, release me,
Because what I want is not always the right path
And what I need is not always the way,
Let me lose myself in darkness,
And allow light in my pores
Allow the universe
To take me
Home.

KKLE April 16, 2013

Morning Cinquain


Morning
Thick with grey mists,
Serene spirits embracing
My heart, my lungs, my soul reaching
Inward.

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© Karen K.L.Espaniola and hinarising.com. 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Karen K.L. Espaniola and hinarising.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.